What a wide ride my pregnancy and birth was with Willow! So many things were different about this pregnancy. Being a rainbow baby added a whole new dynamic to it all as I battled worry and fear. This was my first pregnancy to experience morning sickness, and oh was that rough! There were many other things scattered throughout those 9 months that challenged my faith and drove me to my knees. We are so thankful that Willow is here and that she is perfectly healthy! God answered so many of our prayers.
In some ways, her birth was exactly what I had been dreaming of. . . ever since Ivy was born. If you’ve read or listened to Ivy’s birth story, you’ll know she was my first natural, home birth. That all came about at the very end of my pregnancy with her, and I had no idea what I was getting into. Well, it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever experienced! Fast forward, I was so delighted to be pregnant again and get the full experience of midwifery care and home birth. But in other ways, her birth was nothing like what I pictured, or had planned for. As I write this and hear her peacefully breathing beside me, I know that God was in every detail, doing what He does best- working all things together for good!
We’ll pick up the story around week 35. I had never experience Braxton Hicks contractions with my other babies, so it caught me by surprise when they started so early and so intense with Willow. I was having them every 20 minutes or so, and they were quite uncomfortable. I had spent the whole pregnancy convincing myself not to get my hopes up that baby would arrive early, but here I was at 35 weeks starting to make final preparations thinking that things were going to happen sooner than later.
My due date was May 8th, Mother’s Day. If I wasn’t going to have baby early, then I definitely wanted her on Mother’s Day. How perfect would that be?! Well, Mother’s Day came and went. As did the next day, and the next day. The days drug on. Every day I woke up thinking “This is the day! It’s got to be today.” I’d spend the day walking, bouncing on my birth ball, eating pineapple, and a dozen other tricks only to go to bed crying that another day had passed and still no baby. I had been 6 cm dilated and 90% effaced for at least 2 weeks. I had received 2 membrane sweeps that did nothing. These were such difficult days for me. I battled discouragement. I prayed, but felt like God wasn’t listening. I was so uncomfortable and sleep was a struggle. In my heart, I knew God’s timing was perfect, but my mind doubted and questioned.
It was Monday, May 16th- 8 days after my due date. I had an appointment with my midwives, and we talked through our options. I knew that they could not deliver at home after the 42 week mark, and I felt the clock was ticking with no labor in sight. They told me that they could break my water, and that it would definitely get labor started. That was not at all how I saw this birth going. I wanted the spontaneous surprise of labor starting, but I was tired. We were ready to meet our precious baby!
Simeon and I spent the next few hours praying through the decision, and we felt at peace with having my midwife break my water. We notified our birth team, and things were in place. Everyone would arrive around 7pm that evening. There was a good chance that it would take a bit for labor to get started. I thought that starting at 7 in the evening would give plenty of time for our younger two to be fast asleep before baby’s arrival. We had a friend lined up to come and watch them, but since we thought baby would arrive in the middle of the night, we saw no reason to have someone there.
My doula was the first to arrive. This in and of itself was a God-thing. I hadn’t planned to have a doula this time. I had one with Ivy (and she was incredible!), but Ivy came so quickly that my doula made it about 10 minutes before she was born. We figured this birth would probably go quickly too, so we chose not to invest in a doula. Two days before Willow’s birth, a dear friend responded to a photo I’d posted on social media. She told me that she was finishing up her certification to be a doula, and offered to be a part of my birth team if I wanted. We chatted on the phone for a while, and decided that God was orchestrating her joining in. Fast forward to Monday, I called her that afternoon and asked if she was available that evening. She has 6 kids of her own and lives and hour away, but she was able to clear her schedule and come! We had a sweet moment of prayer before the midwives arrived.
Around 5pm, I had started having mild contractions. We were unsure if it was the beginning of labor though because my body had been doing that for the past two weeks, then contractions would stop. I had my midwives check me before they broke my water. She said I was not in active labor. She broke my water at 7:16pm. She asked me if I could go take a walk to see if that would get things moving along. I barely made it down our hallway before the first contraction hit full force! I did make it onto our front porch, and I believe I walked the length of it maybe twice. Contractions were coming every few minutes. We went back into my bedroom, and maybe 15-20 minutes later, my body started pushing.
Ivy was asleep in her bedroom, but Knox was still up. We had expected things to go fast, but not that fast! We put on a movie for him to watch, and Eden came back to our room. Labor was so intense. It is amazing what the female body can do! I was surrounded by people who loved me and were cheering me on. There were my 3 midwives, Simeon, Eden, Simeon’s mom, my doula, and my photographer friend. Baby started to crown, and there was a beautiful moment in between contractions where I looked up at Eden, got her attention, and with the biggest smile I said, “Eden, baby’s almost out!” She got the cutest little smile. It was so precious having her be a part.
I had wanted to be the one to catch baby, but as the moment got closer, I felt too shaky and weak to do it. I did get to feel baby’s head as she came out, but Simeon was the one to catch her. He got her and handed her through my legs up to my chest. Oh, there’s nothing in the world like that moment!! She was born at 8:17pm which was exactly 1 hour and 1 minute after my water breaking!
I held her for a few minutes, then pulled her back to see the gender. I looked at Sim and said, “It’s a girl! It’s another little girl!” We had Knox come back to meet his little sister. I thought he might be disappointed because he really wanted a brother, but his smile hasn’t faded since telling him that he had another baby sister. Each one of us have been completely smitten with our Willow.
We could not be more thankful for Willow and for the opportunity to raise another child for the Lord. Her birth was such a beautiful experience for our entire family. I will treasure the memories for the rest of my life!
