Where does the time go? It feels like just yesterday that I was bundling up my sweet baby girl, strapping her into her car seat for the first time, and staring into her perfect little face while Simeon drove us home from the hospital. But a decade has now passed, and my sweet baby is growing into a lovely young woman.
Soon, we will celebrate our girl’s tenth birthday! This birthday is special for many reasons, but one of the biggest is that it marks the beginning of a transition from girlhood toward womanhood. In many ways, my Eden is still a little girl (and I plan to preserve her childhood and innocence for as long as I can!). But in other ways, her mind and body are giving us subtle signals that she is growing up.
I don’t remember receiving much instruction throughout my own puberty years. Things were rather hush-hush in our home, except for the occasional information dump that left me blushing, feeling awkward, and swirling with more questions I was too uncomfortable to ask.
Simeon and I have sought a different approach in our parenting. We’ve tried to drip little bits of information here and share important truths there, answering questions in an age-appropriate way as they arise. As we’ve worked to invest in our relationships with our children, we’ve found that so many questions about family, puberty, reproduction, and the human body come up organically. Instead of running from these moments in fear or discomfort, we seek to lean in and guide our children through them. The Birds & The Bees online course was FABULOUS in helping us lay this foundation!
As my daughter stands on the threshold of womanhood, much of the foundation has been laid. But now it’s time to build upon it. The conversations are becoming deeper and more personal. Instead of talking about what might happen someday, we’re discussing what is happening today.
I want to be a voice of truth that speaks frequently into her heart, because I know from personal experience that these can be challenging years. There are changes to navigate, questions to answer, and new experiences to understand. But these changes are also a beautiful part of God’s perfect design for the female body. I want this to be something we walk through together, learning and growing along the way and celebrating the wonder of our Creator.
It took me more than 30 years to develop this perspective, and I want to help my girls see it at a much younger age.
Back to my girl’s tenth birthday!
I wanted this birthday to be extra special—a celebration that would mark the beginning of a new chapter in our girl’s growing maturity.
A Shared Experience
They say love is spelled t-i-m-e. Simeon and I have decided to forgo yearly birthday parties for our kids. There are many reasons for that, but our main reason is that instead of spending money on a party, we spend it on an experience! As our kids get older, that looks less and less like a family day trip to the zoo and more like a one on one experience with a parent. Last year, Eden and I went to see The Nutcracker ballet in a gorgeous theatre in Sydney (epic!!). Since this year is a milestone birthday, I have been wanting an exprience that will “wow” her- one that she’ll talk about for years to come. She has been reading books about horses and has fallen in love with the animal. We’ve found a place where we can get a 2 hour horseback riding adventure in Sydney’s scenic central coast. I know she is going to squeal with delight when the surprise is revealed!
My plan is to do that the morning of her birthday. The night before, she and I will be having a girls slumber party downstairs, just the two of us. We will make and eat our dinner together, I’ll give her some special gifts (see below), we’ll talk, I’ll pray over her, and we’ll end the night watching Anne of Green Gables (the best coming of age movie- or at least it’s tied with Little Women!)
A Gift from Mom
Eden and I have spent a lot of time talking about her body and that beautiful changes that come as her body blossoms into a woman. I have a “fun” gift for her, but I also have a “welcome to womanhood” gift. I’ve bought her some big girl skincare, lip gloss, a journal (we can write back in forth in if she has something to ask me that she’d rather write than ask out loud), period underwear, a wet bag (to keep her period items in), and deodorant. While she doesn’t need all these items yet, I want her to be prepared and confident for when she does.
One more gift she’ll received from Daddy and Mama is a new baking cookbook, Double Delights by Evy & Nola Halberstadt (twin daughters of Abbie, aka M is for Mama). Since the above gifts are more practical than fun, we wanted to get her something she could use right away and get much enjoyment from!
A Gift from Women She Looks Up To
Eden’s love language is words of affirmation. I know this because she has notes that I’ve written her tucked into her Bible- notes that I wrote YEARS ago! As she steps into young womanhood, I wanted voices of godly wisdom to speak into her heart. I have reached out to a dozen or so ladies that she looks up to- family, close friends, church ladies, her piano teacher- and have asked them to write her a handwritten letter. I’m open to anything they’d like to write, but I gave a few ideas…
-What God has taught you about being a godly lady
-A funny story from when you were her age
-A godly character trait that has blessed you throughout life
-A favorite Bible verse or Bible character
-A character trait you see in her and how you believe God can use that as she grows
-A practical habit that helped you grow in maturity and faith
-A blessing or prayer to speak over her life
I will be compiling these letters into a notebook for her and presenting it to her during our evening time together.
A Prayer for My Girl
Prayer is powerful. I have prayed for each of my children from the moment I saw two pink lines on a positive pregnancy test. I will continue to pray for them until the day I die or Jesus comes for me. I love praying with and over my children as well. I want them to hear my heart for them. I want them to hear their Mama praying the very words of Scripture over their lives. They know more than anyone that their Mama isn’t perfect, but I want them to know with as much certainty that I am leaning on the Holy Spirit for every ounce of motherhood strength and wisdom.
I plan to spend some time praying over Eden before we end our celebration. God has impressed several specific Scripture verses on my heart to pray over her. I will pray for her present and for her future. I will pray for wisdom and grace as she begins this new season. I want her to know that we are walking into the days ahead arm in arm with the Lord. Through all the ups and downs of the tween/teen years, He will be her guide, and I desire to be her biggest cheerleader and most dedicated prayer warrior.
It is with great joy and a heart of gratitude that I step into this next season with my girl. Yes, I will forever look at her and see that adorable baby. But as much as I treasure those memories, I wouldn’t trade those days for the days I’m living now watching my beautiful girl become a lovely young woman!
I know these middle years can bring uncertainty, alarm, and confusion for many mothers and daughters. I certainly don’t have it all figured out, but I’ve gleaned wisdom from many women who are further along this journey than I am. My hope is that these ideas will inspire another mom to think creatively as she seeks to invest in her daughter’s heart and lovingly guide her toward womanhood.
Growing up is a gift, and I believe this season of life is truly something worth celebrating!
I share more on this post and this post about different resources, books, and helps I’m using to prepare my girl to walk through puberty with comfort and confidence!
