“A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.” John 16:21

To fully understand the background of this post, you’ll have to also read Ivy Jade’s Birth Story. I won’t take the time to retell many details that I wrote there, but I did want to devote a post to our home birth experience.I think one of the things that has amazed me most about Ivy’s birth was the realization that we, as parents, have so many options when it comes to childbirth. I have quickly become an advocate for home birth! It was the most incredible experience, and I pray that any future children we might have can be born at home. I do want to give a few disclaimers as I begin though. . .

• I do not want to bash the experiences I had with Eden and Knox. Both of their births were beautiful and miraculous as well, it was just a completely different experience. And there are several things that happened with both of their deliveries that were negative that I really don’t think would’ve happened if we’d had a more natural birth.
• Home birth is not for everyone. I am so thankful for modern medicine, hospitals, and doctors! There is a place for it all. I do believe that God designed a woman’s body to bring babies into the world, and much of modern medicine is more of an intervention than a help.
• God led Simeon and I both to the decision to choose a home birth. If either partner is scared or concerned about it, there are valid reasons to feel that way. I wouldn’t ignore that if you are the one on board with it. It never hurts to make an educated decision though. Research, talk to those with experience, and first and foremost, pray about it together. I believe with my whole heart that if a couple seeks God for wisdom, He is faithful to guide you BOTH to His perfect plan for you and your baby. As much as you love and want the best for your little one, God loves them and wants the best for them infinitely more!

You Have a Choice Our path to home birth all began with a few friends who reached out and shared their stories. I guess I always just assumed when you find out you’re pregnant, you schedule an appointment with an OB and in the end have a hospital delivery. These stories opened my eyes to the truth that we have choices! Looking back, so many “decisions” with my first two pregnancies and births weren’t even decisions. No one asked my opinion or if I wanted options. They were simply done because it was protocol.

A perfect example of this was during Eden’s birth. . . We found out after she was born that she had her hand by her head when she came out. Because of that, I had to push for 2 hours to get her out. It was exhausting, but I had an epidural and couldn’t feel any pain from it so I was fine to keep working hard to get her out. The doctor wasn’t as patient (my OB was on vacation when Eden was born, so I had an on-call OB from another practice). In the midst of being super tired and continuing to push, I overheard her preparing to do an episiotomy. I did NOT want that done! I had to speak up and intervene because no one even asked me if that was ok! Of course the doctor was quite frustrated with me for stopping her, but it wasn’t her choice- it was mine!

The experience with our midwife team was entirely different. They were thorough and on-top of everything, but the best word I can think of to describe the care I received from the versus the hospital was non-invasive. I’m use to having my dilation checked from week 35 on, and multiple times while laboring. I only had it checked once with my midwives, and that was at my own request. They explained to me that it really isn’t a good indication for labor. (Makes sense! I was 8cm dilated with Knox and had NO labor pains. I was 1 cm dilated with Eden, and my water broke) We were given choices about the shots, screenings, and treatments Ivy would receive at birth. Each thing was carefully explained to us with all the pros and cons. With my other two, I didn’t even know what treatments they received much less what and why. It was simply standard hospital procedure.Fears and ConcernsI mentioned in Ivy’s birth story that Sim was opposed to the idea of home birth the first time we discussed it. These are some of the things he was concerned about. . .

• The mess: Yes, this was probably the first concern on his list. He was just grossed out at the idea of birthing a baby in our bedroom! To be honest, I was curious how all of that worked as well. I mean, birth is messy. Would our bedroom ever look the same again?? When I was researching the midwife team we wound up choosing, under their FAQ page, one of the first questions they answered was “What about the Mess?” They explained that they clean up everything, and leave your house cleaner than before your baby arrived! They did just that! Everything was spotless, our bed was completely clean, and they even threw in the laundry before they left!
• What if something goes wrong? There are so many uncertainties in birth, and things can go wrong. Thankfully we had a very smooth and healthy pregnancy with Ivy, but that didn’t guarantee us a perfect delivery. The midwives were very thorough in lining up an emergency plan if we needed it. Thankfully we didn’t, but it put us at ease to know exactly what the transfer procedure would be if we did.

A Peaceful, Relaxing Environment I really don’t even know how to describe the peacefulness and relaxation of giving birth in a safe, familiar space. First, it was so nice not having to quickly grab bags and drive somewhere. Everyone came to us! If you read Ivy’s story, you know she came very quick. I had planned on laboring in the birth pool and possibly even delivering in it, but we didn’t have time. I wound up birthing her on the floor beside my bed. After she was born, the midwives moved us to my bed. The lights were dimmed, and the midwives excused themselves to start cleaning up. For the next hour, we just lied there, snuggled, and she nursed. It was beautiful. Simeon got in bed beside us, and we got to enjoy those first moments with out anyone taking our baby or pestering me with exams. After that first hour, the midwives returned to help me deliver the placenta, cut Ivy’s cord, and look her over. They gave me the option of being there for all her checks or moving me to an herb bath they had prepared. I decided to get in the tub after I got her weight and height. They quickly finished with her and brought her to me in the tub. I sat in the water and nursed her while they went over postpartum care. Once I was ready to get out of the bath, they helped me dress and get back in bed with Ivy. They went over a few last minute things, and then we were left to rest and begin life with our new bundle.RecoveryI keep getting the question “Now that you’ve experienced medicated and unmedicated births, which would you choose and why?” Unmedicated, hands down! Why?-

• Ivy was so alert after her birth. I’d read that this was very common in babies born unmediated. Often when a mom receives medication, it transfers to the baby causing them to be lethargic, etc. Ivy was bright-eyed from the beginning. She nursed almost immediately after birth, and she barely cried! She just looked around and took in her new world.
• I could walk! I’m use to being trapped in bed for hours after giving birth. I was shocked at how easily I was getting around after having Ivy.
• I don’t know if it’s because I had a catheter with the first two, but going to the bathroom was a difficult thing. With Ivy, I had no problem.
• I write this day 6 ppd, and my overall recovery has been so smooth! I still have a bit to go, but I feel much better at this stage than I did at this point with my other two.

Was home birth the right choice? This is the questions we kept asking ourselves over and over when we were thrust into the decision because of the changes that COVID-19 was enforcing. It came down to this, if Ivy came and the world was still in upheaval, would we be glad we made the switch? YES! If the world got back to normal before Ivy’s delivery and all normal hospital policies resumed, would we regret the change of plans? We really didn’t think we would. So we made the switch. Now that we are on the other side of the decision, we know without a shadow of a doubt that God orchestrated every detail to lead us to the decision to birth at home. Words like “incredible” and “amazing” don’t feel adequate enough to encapsulate the experience that it was. Was it hard and painful? Oh my goodness yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely! Honestly, I’m writing this 6 days ppd, and already the memories of the pain have so quickly faded. I’d do it all over again to be cuddling my little angel. I put this verse at the top of the post, but I want to insert it here again

“A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.” John 16:21

For the first time, I was in tune with my body and experienced birth as God created it. Sorrowful, painful? Yes, but only for a moment. The immense joy that follows is so overwhelming. It’s been funny the comments I’ve gotten when I share Ivy’s story. I’ll be the first to tell you, I am no beast, viking, or superwoman. A paper cut makes me cry. But I am a woman designed by God to bring life into this world. I spent many hours in prayer leading up to Ivy’s arrival asking God to give me His strength because I knew I didn’t have the power in and of myself. He answered my prayers, and all glory goes to Him!

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” Psalm 139:14